Last spring, as I prepared to take on this crazy adventure called homeschooling, I read countless books and articles and websites, most of them helpful, a few of them scary, but almost all containing phrases like this:
Every homeschool family is unique.
You’ll start out doing one thing and end up someplace completely different.
You won’t know what works until you start.
What works for other families won’t necessarily work for you.
Or something to that effect.
Blah. Blah. Blah.
It wasn’t that I didn’t believe the books or even that I thought I had it all figured out. But after reading extensively about all the different methods of homeschool I felt certain that I was, at the very least, committed to the idea of a Classical Education for my kids.
It just seemed to fit everything I believed in, and besides, nearly all the homeschool moms I knew were taking a Classical approach. I had been stalking reading Edie’s homeschool posts for years and was always so inspired by everything she had to say, by the amazing education she was giving to her girls.
So I dutifully read The Well Trained Mind about 47 times, highlighting and re-reading and shouting “YES!,” and then eagerly ordered most of the recommended books for first grade. I was excited to start and we jumped in with both feet, and for the first couple of months, it was okay. I spent a lot of time preparing for our lessons and could inject my own creativity and passion into the curriculum even though I often found it somewhat dry and repetitive.
But then in the fall, as work obligations piled up and then I took on our 31 Days of Living Well & Spending Zero project, I suddenly found myself stretched a little thin. It was all I could do just to squeeze school into our day at all, much less make it fun. It started to become a chore. It was so boring! And if I was bored, I knew my kids were bored too.
I hated that I was boring them, hated that it was a chore. I hated that I couldn’t seem to figure out how to teach 2 different ages at the same time, and that we spent more time fighting then learning. I hated that everyone else was getting the best of me and all my kids got was this crazy stressed out Task Master.
But I didn’t know what to do or how to change. I had spent all this money on all these books and I felt stuck and scared. And honestly, I felt like a failure. Why couldn’t I be more like Edie? Was I not cut out for this?
One evening, desperate and in tears, I picked up my Kindle and did a search for homeschooling books. I don’t know what I was looking for, exactly, I think mostly I just wanted to find some hope. I stumbled across a helpful-sounding book called Homeschooling for the Rest of Us and one click later (gotta love that Kindle instant gratification), as I read words of comfort and validation that I so needed to hear, I was soon crying tears of joy.
And then the very next day Edie wrote this post about why she almost gave up homeschooling and suddenly, after realizing things weren’t all sunshine and roses for her either, I had an Epiphany: I was doing it ALL WRONG. I was trying to juggle all these different balls called “school” and “home” and “work” and “mom,” not realizing that they are in fact the same ball. I work from home. I school from home. This is where we live. This is what we do. This is our life now. School is who we are.
My most important job–especially at this stage of their life–is to be my kids’ mom first and everything else second. To raise them to be confident and loving and inquisitive and passionate and spiritual, to have good manners and to build strong relationships. And, to quote my dear wise friend, “The curriculum is there to inspire ME so that I can inspire them.”
I read that line and realized I wasn’t inspired, I was bored. The fact is that I prefer the practical to the cerebral. I would rather read a book about organizing than one about The Odyssey. I also realized was that the reason Edie inspires me so much is because she is truly passionate about what she does. It works for her. Because she would most definitely pick the Odyssey. And that is okay. I can be inspired by her without being her.
Isn’t that true of so much in life?
Judge me if you must, but I revolted.
The girls and I abandoned our rigorous and systematic approach, we eased off our hectic schedule, I stopped trying to teach them separately, and we simply began enjoying our time together.
I focused on sharing with them the things I was passionate about. Rather than trying to separate our “school time” from my “home time,” I just started including them in whatever I was doing, whether it was cooking or cleaning or crafting. And then, after lunch each day, we retreated to their cozy bed where we would cuddle up together reading aloud favorite books from my own childhood like Charlotte’s Web and The Hundred Dresses and Ramona and the Little House series.
I’m not sure what that approach could even be called. The Slacker Mom’s Guide to Homeschooling I suppose, although in my defense I did create a printable daily planner to help me at least feel like we were accomplishing something. And while there will probably always be a small part of me that feels a twinge of doubt–what would parenting be without a little self doubt after all–I realize now that the best thing I can do for my kids’ education is to give them ALL of me.
That is no small feat. All is a LOT, which means in order for that to be sustainable for any length of time, I have to be passionate and enthusiastic and excited about what we are learning. I have to WANT to do it every day–not only in theory, but in practice–or I will burn out. They will burn out. We will fail.
With that in mind, I was ready this month, after a few months of our free-for-all homeschooling approach, to try something slightly more structured. But only slightly. Knowing better what works (and doesn’t work) for our personalities, I began re-researching the different homeschool methods and curriculums.
I ultimately settled on a Unit Study approach, and although in the future we will quite possibly be using a curriculum called KONOS, for the forseeable future–probably at least the next 6 months to a year–we are using a unit study called The Prairie Primer to delve headfirst into the pioneer world of the Little House series, which has already captivated us.
The Prairie Primer–which was recommended to me by another homeschool mom and which has incredible reviews–looks amazing so far. It is very clearly laid out, which I love, and incorporates all the different subjects (except math) into the study. We have just been getting started this week, but we will be doing many of the activities we read about, like making butter and corn cob dolls and learning to sew and embroider, as well as studying various animals and things like how to grow crops and how maple syrup is made. It is really interesting, and it is fun! Not just for them, but for me!
To stay organized and keep better track of what we are doing, I expanded my daily homeschool planner to include student goals, a quarterly outline, and a weekly game plan. I made it myself because I couldn’t find a homeschool planner that also included LIFE, and if you are looking for a way to plan your homeschool days, you are welcome to try it–just keep in mind that all homeschool families are unique and what works for me might not necessarily work for you! 
Eight months in, we are still just beginning our homeschool adventure. And who knows, eight months from now I may have a whole new perspective about it all. For now all I can do is take each day as it comes and simply pray for the grace and wisdom to give my kids the best education–and life–that I can.
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Laurie January 11, 2013 at 8:36 am
Oh, how I loved this! We are on our fifth year of homeschooling yet we are still “figuring it out”.
Every time someone in interested in beginning homeschooling my first advice is, “Find what works for YOU!”
Ruth January 11, 2013 at 1:26 pm
Thanks Laurie! And AMEN!
Emily January 11, 2013 at 8:58 am
This was so helpful! My oldest daughter will be starting Kindergarten next year and I have been agonizing over whether or not to homeschool. I’m curious what ultimately made you decide to do it. I have a 2 year old as well and I am so nervous about trying to teach them both at once.
Ruth January 11, 2013 at 1:32 pm
I had always wanted to homeschool but last year I was so busy running multiple websites that we decided to put our oldest daughter in public school. It is a really good school but we just didn’t have a very good experience–I wrote more about it here:
http://www.livingwellspendingless.com/2012/08/13/tender-spirits-why-we-homeschool/
Figuring out how to juggle 2 kids at once is definitely something I am still learning! I often wonder how those moms with 6 or 8 kids manage it all!
Cassie @ The Thrifty Couple January 11, 2013 at 9:56 am
Ruth,
What a great post! We too homeschool and we have homeschooled for the last 6 years. We now have 4 school age children and one infant and life is crazy between this, being a wife, a mother, running businesses, blogging, and trying to be frugal (which we all know takes time and organization). I loved reading this. I was homeschooled as well all the way through highschool. I have realized that the most important part of homeschooling is focusing on my kids, their strengths, their weaknesses and their character. When we first started, I was quite ambitious and thought we too had to have such a strict schedule and plan. We had each child in their grade level doing each subject and then by the time we added #3 in the mix and each child was studying different sciences, different history topics, etc. I found it impossible to teach a dozen different lessons in one day and wasn’t sure how others do it. I still don’t know, but after talking to Alex to help me figure it out, this is what we do. We have two different homeschooling times during the day – group school where all 4 kids from ages 4-9 participate in Bible, history, science, geography and art. We rotate through those subjects doing Bible everyday and then the others 1 – 2 times per week and everyone studies the same topic and so I teach one lesson. Then the activity is age-based. The older ones might get additional self-directed reading with a report and the youngest might just color a picture and everything in between. The second part is where the older three are given their workbook assignments for math, phonics, spelling, handwriting and English. They can all read and their workbooks are self-explanatory with Alex or I needing to do quick one-on-one lesson when needed (we also simplified this by sticking with one company’s workbooks at each grade level, so all of the kids are doing the same type of workbooks, just in their grade). Then during that time, the 4-year old needs someone to sit with her and teach her while she does her workbooks. We actually accomplish so much in a small amount of time now! We don’t really have a schedule, it is just time allotments and whatever we can get done in that time. Surprisingly, we are moving at a much quicker pace, much happier mom and that means much happier kids! Now I can’t say it is perfect as I have to get up at 5:30 am, be very strict and precise about my blogging, cleaning, couponing and more as school is our top priority, even amongst those extras we have. It is humbling, but very rewarding experience. Thanks for sharing Ruth and God Bless!! Cassie
Ruth January 11, 2013 at 1:37 pm
Wow Cassie, I am always so amazed by moms who homeschool more than 2 kids! I get up really early too–I’ve found that that is the only way to have time to work and write without distractions. I also just enjoy the peace and quiet of the morning time!
Donna Marie Johnson January 11, 2013 at 10:24 am
I think we’re “right there”. I totally feel you, Ruth. Thank you for sharing. I needed this encouragement.
I ended our stint in a virtual public school about a year ago and have had a much more relaxed approach to homeschooling; but when I first started I “thought” I needed to give my kids a more rigorous learning experience to more closely model how I was educated.
However, I know longer feel that way. They’re having so much more fun and so am I with our “do what works well for us” approach to homeschooling. I am glad to know I’m not the only mom entrepreneur who has experienced this type of transition.
Ruth January 11, 2013 at 1:38 pm
Thanks Donna!
Rachel @ finding joy January 11, 2013 at 11:31 am
I love this post. I’ve been homeschooling for eleven years and every single year I think “this is the way” to do it and then I quickly revert to life as our homeschooling. We burn out otherwise and I can’t incorporate all the kids together and we lose the love of learning.
I’ve found it to be a balance and it all ebbs and flows depending upon the season of life we’re in.
Wonderful words. You will bless many.
Rachel
Ruth January 11, 2013 at 1:39 pm
Thank you Rachel. It is so good to know I’m not the only one!
Eddie - The Usual Mayhem January 11, 2013 at 11:32 am
LOVE this post! And welcome to the Prairie Primer clan – there is an excellent and active Facebook group, including the PP’s author, if you didn’t already know. We changed our approach this year as we added in another student, and it’s been a great year so far.
Ruth January 11, 2013 at 1:40 pm
Oh my goodness, I had no idea there was a Facebook group! Could you send me the link? Thanks Eddie!
Jennifer January 11, 2013 at 11:36 am
Oh this spoke volumes to me!
My favorite quote “I can be inspired by her without being her.”
Thank you! I am going to go forth in my life and find ways to be inspired BY others with out trying to BE the people that inspire me.
Ruth January 11, 2013 at 1:40 pm
Aadel January 11, 2013 at 11:49 am
What an awesome post! We started out with traditional curriculum, a school room, and scheduled subjects. That lasted about 2 years. Then we evolved into what we are now – which is Charlotte Mason-esque unschoolers. But really – it is life. We live and learn! <3
Ruth January 11, 2013 at 1:41 pm
So true! Thanks Aadel!
Cindi January 11, 2013 at 2:03 pm
Great post! As a fellow homeschooler, we do have some bookwork and a whole lot of life learning. With all the retired people down here, we have a massive wealth of information available. We can make learning fun and instill that love to learn in our children. Kids, as well as adults, learn at their own pace, not as a mass group. Just because a child may learn something at a later age than a different child doesn’t make them stupid or dumb or slow. That is my biggest peeve with large classrooms. Putting kids in the “slow learners” classes destroys their ability and desire to learn because it’s a negative experience. Standardized tests do not reveal an accurate picture of what any child knows. Living life, learning how to think critically, and reading, reading, reading will do so much. May I also recommend Lucy Maud Montgomery with her Story Girl series as well as Anne of Green Gables, Louisa May Alcott with the Little Women series, and Frances Hodgson Burnett with A Little Prince, The Lost Prince, and The Secret Garden (which is what we’ve just started now.)
Read everything in which they express an interest. My elder daughter, who is 11, keeps talking about being a paleontologist. I didn’t even know what that was at 11!
You’re doing great, and remember that all homeschoolers have down days, just like “regular” schoolers and teachers do. We’re not perfect. No one is. But you love your kids more than anyone else, and you can instill a massive love of lifelong learning better than anyone else can as you show them how enthusiastic you are about constantly learning regardless of what the subject matter is. You can do it!
Kayla Arrowood January 11, 2013 at 3:02 pm
I loved your post. I’m glad that for this season you have found something that fits. With homeschooling its kinda beautiful that way – Seasons come and go – Books and curriculum will change. Homeschooling is trial and error because every child is different. Keep trying and you can totally do it perfect for your family!! Hugs & Kisses fellow homeschooler!!!
Jessy at Our Side of the Mountain January 11, 2013 at 4:31 pm
Sounds like the normal progression of a homeschooler! ::wink:: This is Year 9 for us…and every year…sometimes every few months…I have to tweak something that just isn’t quite working. Different kids, different stages, changes! Right now we’re a little “afloat” with Science, searching for a new curriculum or interest area for us. We’ll get there! Enjoy the rest of your year!
Michelle Williams January 11, 2013 at 5:04 pm
So glad you are figuring out what works for you! That is one of the hardest things about homeschooling-not doing what everyone else does, but customizing to fit your kiddos, their interests, abilities and personalities. Love the Little House books! When you get to the maple syrup making stuff, there is this fabulous picture book about making maple syrup called Sugar on Snow by Nan Parson Rossiter. I would loan you my copy, but I am afraid you are too far away!
Keep up the great work!
Inspiration Station January 11, 2013 at 7:47 pm
I found your blog through weekly wrap-up. I loved reading through your homeschool posts today and hearing about your first year journey. You’re not alone with finding out through trial and error what’s best. That is the beauty of teaching in the home, finding what works for your individual family.
Leah Courtney January 11, 2013 at 11:10 pm
I loved reading your story. I started out homeschooling with a very structured approach when we began nine years ago, but I , too, was quickly burned out. I’ve come round and round lots of times through the years but finally have decided that not only is each family different, but sometimes each year is different. And the great thing about homeschooling is that we can adapt, and adapt, and adapt…
Rosie January 12, 2013 at 7:11 am
Something in me still can’t seem to take homeschooling off the table for my little one. Here in England they start at 4 years (full time) and I worry that they are just so little! Wish we had the sort of programmes you guys do to follow!
Stephanie January 12, 2013 at 10:10 am
I have been homeschooling since last January and the main thing that I felt was seriously out-of-control of it all. Ya know?? It’s definitely gotten better, I have learned that co-op is not for us. My kids love it but I feel “crazy” trying to keep up with all of the assignments from the different classes. Maybe next year we will just do one. Home school though has gotten soooo much better. I just now feel like I have a handle on what the kids need to know and how to get that information into their little brains. thank you for posting this though…home schooling is such a great community that we all can share and gain from. thanks again.
Angie D. January 12, 2013 at 11:43 am
As usual, I really love your insightfulness. I don’t even have kids, but I enjoy hearing about your journey with your girls. When I was little, we lived out in the country, and daycare didn’t really exist (well, it existed, but not where we lived). When my mom went back to work, I had the pleasure of spending several years with my grandparents “babysitting” me each day. They had a farm. Grandma would read to me, and include me in her daily activities (like canning, sewing, cooking). I didn’t even realize I was learning, because it was so much fun to have her undivided attention. Grandpa would come in for lunch, and sometimes he’d take me out with him to feed the hogs or to plant potatoes. Life was good!
When I started school, I cried all the time, because I didn’t want to be there. I wanted to be back with grandma. Homeschooling wasn’t something you did back in the late 70′s, so I had to suffer through it. “It’ll get better,” my mom would tell me. But you know what? It never did. My spirit was crushed over and over by mean kids, mean teachers, etc. I found it traumatic to be surrounded by all those other smelly little strangers.
So, protect their tender little spirits! When you include them in your daily activities, like canning, crafting, etc., you’re not only teaching them, but you’re also giving them a really good foundation of love and security that will help them in the future.
Alyssa Van Den Elzen January 12, 2013 at 4:10 pm
I used the Prairie Primer for my 3 oldest– it took us about 2.5 years instead one one! Then check out Further up and Further In (Narnia in a similar approach for a little older kids) In High school we did a huge study through Lord of the Rings (Literary lessons from Lord of the Rings it’s called) — I love our cozy morning together, lots of reading and following our passions. Now we’ve adopted an 8 year old and starting again on this journey– finding what works for him and how I can work that with the teenagers. I love how you expressed this, though. Classical would never have worked for me either. I call our style eclectic, relaxed and real life!
Teresa January 12, 2013 at 9:59 pm
What a great post! It took me a lot longer to figure out what was best for my kids. We are more eclectic… we keep what works and pitch what does not work.
Laura Lyons January 14, 2013 at 4:50 pm
Ruth, I found your website looking for coupon info and fell in love with your blog. I call myself the accidental homeschooler and after 5 years we learn something new every year. We are very eclectic . We have loved KONOS unit studies the most. This year is more of a challenge as I battle stage 3 breast cancer. (I was touched by your post about your sister in law who was ill ). I am never more thankful for the gift of homeschooling when I reflect on our memories. I have never been a strict curriculum mom but my husband was at the beginning and I tease and say I am a closet unschooler but he keeps me on track . It is always my goal to keep it simple. We are in co-op this year for science and math because my son is in high school and support for me with my illness. God has blessed beyond measure with support and inspiration on this journey. I have tested my children because of self doubt and always been surprised and amazed. Keeping our home a learning environment limiting TV and games helps. My older 4 children were in public school so I have many years to compare . It is such a relief and joy to have the choice to homeschool . When I remember the stress and anxiety sending them to school I thank God everyday. The worst day homeschooling isn’t even close to the best day not knowing what they were learning or facing. My youngest is 9 and the only one who has been homeschooled from the start. We are reading the Little house series and unit study. We have visited the Mansfield Wilder home last year. She is an American Girl fan and I loved your post on the bed and wardrobe and your honesty . (Thankful I didn’t find them ) I found a chest wardrobe at Hobby Lobby and used a coupon to keep it simple. I could go on on other ways you inspire but that is enough for now. Keep writing and blessing with your words.
Mary @ A Productive Endeavor February 8, 2013 at 11:41 am
After homeschooling for just over 5 months, I am in this place. Your post really encourages me today. Thank you!!!
Onika February 9, 2013 at 9:58 am
Thank you so much for this article. I am in my second year of homeschooling and I can totally relate. I am currently using My Father’s World but we sometime interject other things in when I need a change of pace. I also work from home and can relate to the challenges of trying to do it all. This is my first time on your site and I am thankful I found you.
MamaE February 12, 2013 at 5:42 pm
Ruth – Thank you for your amazing post about Home Schooling your girls.
Our son is only 2yrs old and we have a #2 due later this year, but we’ve already discussed and are determined to home school them as well. I personally am the oldest of four myself and my parents (with the God’s help) managed to home school all four of us for about the first 8yrs (at least for me it was 1st – 8th grades). They too had to figure our curriculum that could work for all of us. Even though us first three kids were each about 5 years apart, all girls, my parents found that “Far Above Rubies” was a great one that she could teach on different levels to us. For my brother (the youngest), it was a lot more “out doors” and math/ science focused. But that’s him and shortly after he started we all wound up in public school because of a family matter that did not allow my parents to continue to home school. Which was fine, but a real culture shock. We also found that because our parents had home schooled us for so long, we were all “smarter than the average student” or “gifted” to put it nicely. One of the reasons my husband and I very much want to home school. Coming from families who have always pushed us to achieve the highest we can can, we want to do something where we can control what our children are being taught and take a relaxed but more advanced approach for teaching. I have no idea how this will work out, but we’re still praying about it, he he.
jennifer kindle March 3, 2013 at 7:55 pm
i searched for konos on pinterest and found your blog….just wanted to say thanks for this post!!!! lifeschooling for us is indeed a journey!!!
julie April 17, 2013 at 7:05 pm
We r in our 2nd yr of homeschool of our two (11 & 9 yr olds) & our youngest who is 2. I know right. CRAZY……but it clicked one day after I witnesses my father dying of stage 4 colon cancer on christmas day. This is our life. You get one chance at raising your children & if I could give my beautiful children anything from my life & they could be there for me when it is my time to leave this earth then I had succeeded as a Great parent asy father had done for me. Is it easy no!!!!! Are there those days that I am pulling my hair out & re thinking about my efforts in homeschooling of course……..BUT I WOULDN’T TRADE IT FOR THE WORLD BECAUSE WHEN THOSE EYES LIGHT UP WHEN THEY HAVE FIGURED IT OUT. NOTHING BUT PRICELESS & I was apart of that learning process. ……I don’t even know how I found this link. But I love YOUR HONESTY; why is that not taught more honesty. Thank you for doing this blog.
Cindy April 24, 2013 at 8:58 am
My family has been homeschooling classically for six years now, and I have to say I HATE Well-Trained Mind. Mostly I hate that so many homeschoolers think that is what classical education has to look like. I am a Type A perfectionist and I knew 15 minutes into the book that her approach would drive me and my children crazy. We got involved with Classical Conversations instead and it is perfect for us. It is just the right combination of rigorous and flexible. We’re now in 7th and 8th grades and can really see the fruit of doing classical education without the stress of WTM.
I am so glad that you found an approach that nourishes your girls, and that also nourishes you and your relationship with them. The stress of doing homeschooling the wrong way is so detrimental to that relationship, but the strength of that relationship will be crucial when they hit puberty
I’ve enjoyed getting to know you through your blog. Blessings to your family!
Alyse Groves May 7, 2013 at 10:29 pm
You are a goddess! My husband and I have been talking about curriculum and unit studies and what works and my college schedule with the little one. I was beginning to think I had this all wrong and what was I thinking! Your post is exactly what I needed to read at this very moment! I am coming to a point where I have a planning break from my school and homeschool. I have been worried I am doing it all wrong and now a little one in the mix! After reading this, I am not doing it wrong. I am simply still trying to figure out what works for us and right now what doesn’t work is me compartmentalizing it all! THANK YOU!
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