This is Love

Love is patient, love is kind.  Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. {1 Corinthians 13: 4-7}

Our homeschool memory verse this month is this passage from 1 Corinthians 13.  Teaching my kids always seems to make me see things in a whole new light, so even though I have heard this verse countless times in my life, it has impacted me differently this time around.

It’s made me think a lot about love means, which I suppose is somewhat appropriate given the date.

Husband and I have now been married for 7 years.  We’ve officially made it to the “itch year”–that critical make-or-break-it mark that spells doom for so many marriages–and I can honestly say our marriage is better now than ever before.  That said, it is certainly different then it once was.

We started out passionate, fiery, & colorful.  We were ready for adventure, spontaneous, daring, & impulsive.  We were sentimental and gushy, & frankly a bit over the top with all that lovey-dovey, mushy stuff.    We called each other sweetie and baby and honey and spent all night cuddling no matter how uncomfortable it was.  We were as different as night & day, but most of the time, it simply didn’t matter.

Except when it did.  Because  when we fought–watch out!  All that passion turned into anger and hatred and vitriol.  There were lots of times I didn’t know if we would make it.

Over the years, we’ve mellowed.  We’ve matured.  We’ve melded.  Oh, we’re still as different as night and day, but over the years we have discovered a lot more middle ground.  We’ve found a way to live with each other’s differences and embrace the similarities.  We’re parents now, more responsible, more serious, and yes, a little boring sometimes.    We’ve grown together, learned together, changed together.  We still call each other baby, but only sometimes, when we think about it.  Most of the time we don’t really have to speak at all.

Our love is weathered, comfortable, practical, like a favorite pair of pajamas or faded blue jeans.  And it runs much deeper, to the core.  We still fight now and then, but I never wonder if this will be the end for us.  We’re in it for the long haul.

The thing is, I don’t think a good marriage is defined in the happy moments.  Anyone can have an adventure.  No, I think a solid, happy marriage is defined in the mundane, the day-to-day, by what we do in the moments where no one is looking.

Love is not chocolate, flowers, and a nice card on Valentine’s Day.   Instead, it is:

  • Doing the dishes each night without being asked 
  • Picking up 7 years worth of dog poop for a dog that’s not even yours 
  • Going to work each day, even when you hate it
  • Taking the time to kiss each other goodbye every single time
  • Bringing home tulips instead of roses because you know she likes those best
  • Taking out the trash, making the bed, sweeping the floor, folding the laundry, cooking dinner, scrubbing the toilet, dusting, vacuuming, windexing, & polishing….even when you don’t feel like it.
  • Getting up with a screaming child in the middle of the night
  • Stopping at Starbucks without complaining, even though it is a waste of money
  • Noticing the one thing that went right even when everything else was all wrong
  • Turning a blind eye to the mess in the corner or closet that drives you nuts
  • Believing she is still as beautiful as the day you met.
  • Watching 50 First Dates over and over again, just because it’s our favorite
  • Not noticing an extra 10 or 15 pounds but always noticing 
  • Celebrating every success
  • Comforting every failure
  • Embracing the quirks that make them who they are
  • Saying please and thank you and I’m sorry and I love you
  • Appreciating the little things
  • Forgiving and forgetting
  • Being present

My husband is my best friend, my number one fan, my soul mate.  He is the guy I am lucky enough to wake up to each morning, and at the end of the day, he is the only one I want to see.  And while our relationship might not be as exciting as it once was, I wouldn’t trade it for all the “young love” in the world.

{Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.  You’re still the One.}

 

Linking up once again with Edie’s wonderful Life. In Grace. On Purpose. For Them. series!

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{ 20 comments… add one }

  • Caroline February 13,

    “Our love is weathered, comfortable, practical, like a favorite pair of pajamas or faded blue jeans. And it runs much deeper, to the core. We still fight now and then, but I never wonder if this will be the end for us. We’re in it for the long haul.”

    This is exactly how I feel about my husband! Thanks for putting in down in words.

    Reply
    • Ruth February 15,

      :-)

      Reply
  • Denise February 13,

    Love this post Ruth! How perfect for Valentine’s Day!

    Reply
  • Ellen T. February 13,

    Beautifully written. Thank you so much for sharing.

    Reply
    • Ruth February 15,

      Thank you Ellen!

      Reply
  • wHiT February 13,

    Awe i love this post my dear! :)
    -wHiT

    Reply
    • Ruth February 15,

      Thank you wHiT!

      Reply
  • H February 13,

    Right back at you baby! You are still the prettiest girl in the room.

    Reply
    • Ruth February 15,

      xoxo

      Reply
  • Jess February 13,

    Wow, I got all teary eyed reading this one… I consider myself lucky as well to have found THE one and that’s why I embrace the love and the craziness of our day to day life because it is a gift…<3

    Reply
    • Ruth February 15,

      Aw, I hope you guys had a fabulous Valentine’s Day! :-)

      Reply
  • skye @ neathering our fest February 14,

    Love this post Ruth!! You guys are perfect together – beautiful pictures to! :)

    Reply
    • Ruth February 15,

      Thank you Skye!

      Reply
  • Claire @ A Little Claireification February 15,

    Just beautiful. Hubby and I will have been married 15 years this Fall. I just couldn’t agree more with everything you wrote. You’re so talented. :) Love (love, love, love) the pictures.
    xoxo,
    Claire

    Reply
  • Abby @ Just a Girl and Her Blog February 27,

    What a beautiful love story! Thank you so much for sharing it. {I found you at the life in grace link up.}

    ~Abby =)

    Reply
  • Jeni Brockbank February 27,

    So beautiful!! The Corinthians verse is one of my all time favorites. What a wonderful list of what love is.

    Reply
  • edie February 28,

    love you both.
    so thankful to know you.
    :))

    Reply
  • Jeannine February 28,

    Wow. I linked up at Edie’s for the first time, then planned to visit a few sites in the link-up! Well…I didn’t get past yours. I was transfixed, and started to read so much of your story. You are an inspiration, and I want to thank you for your transparency, Ruth.

    Reply
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    Reply
  • Giuseppe September 2,

    At this moment I am going to do my breakfast, later than having my
    breakfast coming again to read more news.

    Reply

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