A couple of weeks I wrote about the experience of accomplishing a lifelong dream, and more specifically, what it truly takes to make a dream come true. As I explained in that post, there is a whole lot of hard work and sacrifice involved in pursuing a dream. It means making difficult choices and a willingness to believe in yourself even when no one else does.
As excited as I am about reaching this milestone, as a mom of two young girls, the unspoken question that often remains in my own head is this: Does pursuing my own dream make me selfish?
I don’t think I’m alone. Honestly, I think many of us struggle with that very dilemma. How do we balance our ambition as people with our responsibilities as wives and mothers? When is it okay to push towards our own goals, and when should we hold back? When is it okay to be selfish, and when are we supposed to be selfless?
If only there were an easy answer.
The truth is that motherhood often comes with a strong dose of guilt. We feel guilty when we don’t spend enough time with our kids. We feel guilty when we spend too much time with them and not enough time on things like housework or meal-planning. We feel guilty for working. We feel guilty for staying home. We feel guilty for being too strict. We feel guilty for giving in. And sometimes we feel guilty for pursuing our own dreams and ambitions because it might mean we can’t also meet standard of the perfect mom we’ve set out to be.
But here’s a little secret we all need to know: None of us are Superwoman.
The reality is that nobody can do it all, and the ones who pretend they can are probably lying. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day. We all get the same 24 hours, which means that no matter what we do in life, we will be faced with choices.
So how do we make sure we have chosen the right path? How do we know our priorities are in order? Ultimately, I think we are all a work in progress, subject to continual re-assessment and self-reflection, but there are a few things that have really helped me along the way. They might just help you too:
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How do you find balance between caring for your family and pursuing your own dreams?
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These are fantastic guidelines! I think it’s very wise to remember to practice “continual re-assessment and self-reflection”. Situations can start out one way and end another, and if it happens slowly, we might not even realize that things are shifting out of balance. I try to reassess my goals and focus at the start of every month, to ensure that I’m still on the right track.
So beautiful and timely. Thank you Ruth for pursuing your dream and in return helping us to pursue ours.
Blessings,
Holly