depression

A Season of Hope {Experiencing a Joy-Filled Christmas in an Imperfect World}

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I’m fighting hard to stay joyful this Christmas. To be perfectly honest, there are a lot of things weighing me down. Our schedule–normally busy even on a slow week–has been packed to the gills with Christmas programs and commitments and events and parties, and while most of it is self-inflicted, it sometimes makes my head spin trying to keep it all straight.  I keep telling myself I will not, under any circumstances, add one. more. thing.  And then something comes up and and I can’t say no and so I find myself with lots of balls in the air.  Sometimes I drop them. Where is the joy in running around ... read more

Amazing Grace: My Story {Part 4}

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{Read Part 1: Falling} {Read Part 2: Clouds Lifting} {Read Part 3: Changing Paths} *   *   * Part 4: But For Grace In the fall of 2009, just a few months after Trouble was born, we made the decision to move back to Florida.   It had become clear that my 85-year-old mother-in-law, Marie, was no longer able to live on her own, so we made plans to pick her up in Chicago and bring her to Florida to live with us. I wasn’t eager to leave our nice little life in Seattle and the transition back to Punta Gorda was more than a little painful. The combination of ... read more

Amazing Grace: My Story {Part 3}

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{Read Part 1: Falling} {Read Part 2: Clouds Lifting} *   *   * Part 3: Changing Paths Three days after Hurricane Charley we boarded up our mangled house and drove to St. Louis so I could begin law school. After a year-and-a-half of single-mindedly focusing on getting myself there, I was so excited to start I could hardly stand it.  So  I was stunned to realize, just a few months into it, that I hated law school.  With a passion. I despised everything about it:  the intensity, the subject matter, the cut-throatedness of the people around me, the fact that every book cost $150, the Socratic method of teaching….all ... read more

Amazing Grace: My Story {Part 2}

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{Read Part 1: Falling} *   *   * Part 2: Clouds Lifting The thing about hitting rock bottom is that you don’t actually know you are there until things finally start to get better.  At the time, it was a very scary place to be.  After spending two years living under the dark cloud of depression all my hope was gone.  I knew nothing except sadness and misery and I felt so utterly alone. Most of my friends, even those who were supportive at first, had given up on me.  Those who hadn’t given up simply didn’t know how to help, so they just let me be. People can ... read more

Amazing Grace: My Story {Part 1}

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The story I am about to share with you does not come without a lot of thought and prayer.  For quite some time I have felt God pressing on my heart to share my story.  I have, for the most part, resisted.  Oh I’ve shared a snippet here and there, but never really just laid it all out on the table.  To be honest, making myself that vulnerable has been far too scary. This past weekend at Blissdom one of the challenges was to write not just what I think my readers want to hear, but the things I have been too afraid to write.  It frankly scares me to death ... read more

Everyone Gets the Same 24 Hours

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I’ve been feeling a little down on myself lately.   I’d like to think I’m a pretty positive person in general, but every once in a while I will be overcome by feelings of inadequacy.  I start comparing myself to others and nitpicking all of my own flaws and suddenly the list of all the things I should be doing but am not seems insurmountable, and all I really want to do is abandon my responsibilities, crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head, and have a good long cry.  All by myself. I love writing this blog but at times like this I have a hard time coming ... read more

How to Survive a Rough Patch

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There are those times in life when the stars seem to align in your favor, when everything is flowing smoothly and all the pieces fit together nicely without really much effort at all.  And then there are those other times, where every day feels like a struggle and you feel like you are barely holding it together and you’re pretty sure that if one more thing goes wrong you might fall apart completely. It’s called a rough patch. Whether it be in your career, your marriage, or your faith, it can hit you like a ton of bricks and make you feel like nothing will ever be okay ever again. ... read more

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