I don’t write much about God. I know I’ve mentioned my church in passing once or twice, but since this blog is about living well on less, about coupons and DiY projects and frugal recipes and throwing fabulous parties on a tiny budget, God just doesn’t seem to come up very often. And if we’re being honest, writing about religion isn’t something that comes easily to me.
My journey as a Christian has been rocky, to say the least. I grew up in a religious family, went to church all through childhood, attended a Christian elementary school, high school, and then college.
And then, my senior year of college I sunk into a debilitating Major Depression that cost me almost everything–including my life–and lasted almost 3 years. It was during that time that I gave up on God. I recovered from the depression, but stayed as far away from religion as I possibly could.
But God didn’t give up on me.
Kids seem to change your perspective on pretty much everything, and after my girls were born it became important to me to raise them with some sort of moral compass. We started attending church, occasionally at first, but then, as the kids began participating in things, more regularly.
By that point I figured God and me had reached an understanding. I would try to be a good person and live a good life, and even take my kids to church, but I certainly wasn’t going to get all Jesus-crazy. I’d put in my time on Sunday morning, and the rest of the week I’d still be able to do my thing, whatever that was.
God had other plans.
As I sat there in church, Sunday after Sunday, despite my resistance, it began to have an impact. Then last year our pastor retired and a new one took his place. This new guy, to be perfectly frank, seemed just a little over the top to me. He was telling us to bring our Bibles every week, for goodness sake! I mean c’mon, really, what kind of a Bible-thumper did he take me for? I strongly considered not going anymore.
But my pastor has been blessed with the gift of preaching, and God plunked me in that pew and kept me there for a reason. Over the past year his sermons have rocked me to the core. Sometimes I literally felt like he and God were tag-teaming me. Is it possible that they were in cahoots? Finally, after so many years of doing it on my own, I just stopped trying to resist.
God can have me.
I gave in and prayed, literally for the first time in many, many years:
“I can’t do this on my own, Lord. I’ve tried and I’ve failed. You want me, you can take me. I’m far from perfect and I’ve made too may mistakes to count, but YOUR will be done.”
The peace that I have felt since that moment has been overwhelming. Giving up control is a little scary, especially for a girl who really likes to be in control, but mostly it is just like being home.
This past Sunday my pastor preached about being a servant, and how the true measure of greatness as a Christian is not wealth or power or success or even nice things (like shoes), it is a life of humble service. He ended with the this question:
“Will we live our life to be self-important, or will we live our life to hear the words, ‘well done, my good and faithful servant.’”
It got me thinking a lot about my own attitude. Humility isn’t always my strong suit, I know that. Am I doing what I do for my own glory or to serve those around me, and those who read this blog? I hope it is the latter. I pray it is the latter.
It also made me question the things I am striving for. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I like nice things. I started using coupons so that I could afford those nice things. And to a certain extent, I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to dress well or have a lovely home or drive a nice car, but it can’t be the main goal. Because no matter how pretty, ultimately, those things are not what’s important.
My faith journey is far from over; in fact, it has barely just begun. I’m quite confident I’ll continue to make many mistakes along the way. I’m pretty darn good at ‘em. But this I know for sure: God is good, and God is love, and despite how horribly imperfect I am, God still wants me.
I know this post is very different from what I normally write, and I promise I’m not suddenly going to suddenly go all “God-Ho” on you and become a religious blog. But part of being a blogger is writing what’s on your heart, and today this was it. I needed an attitude adjustment.
Tomorrow we’ll be back to saving money!
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Ronda Cox August 2, 2011 at 3:39 pm
Ruth, Thank you for sharing this. It is such good news and so worth sharing. God doesn’t give up on us and I am so glad. You can share from your heart anytime you feel the need. Have a wonderful day.
Gail August 2, 2011 at 3:47 pm
Thank you Ruth for sharing from your heart. For the last few years, my daughter has been dealing with depression and a host of other things that comes with it. I feel sometimes that she too has given up on God because of it. Thank you for your encouragement. I am going to share your story with her.
Myrna August 2, 2011 at 3:52 pm
Thanks Ruth, I also needed this today. By being obedient you have touched a lot of us.
Liz August 2, 2011 at 3:57 pm
Let me tell ya, after I got saved, God delivered me from a depression I had for years. He IS good, and once we turn our hearts over to Him, and receive Jesus as Saviour, we find a piece we have never known. I AM one of those”Jesus freaks”, and I speak about Him all the time, so talking about Him on your blog will in no way offend me, but I know where you’re coming from…
Marcela August 2, 2011 at 4:20 pm
Oh boy!! you made my day…Thanks a lot!!
Regina August 2, 2011 at 4:23 pm
Thank you so much for posting this. I have been at the point where I was thinking about walking away from God but your words have helped me to pray to Him and to keep on going.
God Bless You!!!!
Lisa G. August 2, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Thank you for sharing! It still amazes me how giving up our control to God is the most liberating experience ever. I wish everyone could experience it. And yes, even though there is peace in that, we will still have struggles in our walk. But I decided long ago I wanted to go through my valleys with God rather than alone. Truly following Jesus is alot different than most people’s idea of religion. I could go on and on but I won’t lol.
Kim August 2, 2011 at 4:44 pm
You know Ruth after reading what you posted God is working through you right now, and what is on your heart, you were able to write that down and hopefully speak to someone elses heart. That is how God is . I think everyone has had a time in their lives that they have questioned God, and we are not supposed to but we are human. Your Faith journey isnt over, it never will be. Life is one big journey its all in what you do with it, and what God wants you to do with it. The day that you said that you coulnt get up from church and your preacher and God were in cahoots with each other well they were, just another example of how God works through others
I dont know you personally, just only by reading your post, but you are a good person and a good mom and we ALL know a GOOD couponer !!!!! 
So just keep living for him and do what God would want you to do and keep up the good work 
!!!!!
Krystal August 2, 2011 at 4:56 pm
Super great post Ruth!!! I was saved at the age of 18. (will be 20 years on the 10th of this month) I also went through a major depression while in Bibnle college. I just felt like I was not like all the other people who grew up in Christian homes. I felt worthless. I know that i am nothing but in God’s eyes I am HIS child and he loves me so much! I love being in church. Our church is going through a bit of a bump rigth now but I wouldn’t be anywhere else on Wed. and Sun.
Thank you for being honest and sharing!! I can so relate!
Kim Requa August 2, 2011 at 5:03 pm
What a beautiful and touching message! Thanks for sharing.
Elizabeth August 2, 2011 at 5:06 pm
I have been reading your blog for sometime and noticed the sprinkling of Church and God throughout. I am so thankful that He has gripped your heart and that you can proclaim Him and His truths boldly. My prayer for you, “Heavenly Father, please continue to fan the flame of Ruth’s heart. Continue to move her towards You and Your purposes. Give her clarity as she makes decisions to focus more on You and Your Son. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.”
Nicole August 2, 2011 at 7:07 pm
And Amen again to that Elizabeth!
Raquel August 2, 2011 at 5:15 pm
Ruth, thank you so much for sharing this. As I type this tears are streaming down my cheeks and I feel that you and God are ganging up on me. I’m going through a very rough season in my life and trying to fix it myself and today is one of those days that I’ve been feeling overwhelmed. At this moment I surrender it ALL to God and stop fighting Him. You have been an instrument that the Lord has used to make me see and understand that nothing is going to happen until I truly leave everything at the foot of the cross. Thank you so much. You could keep writing about God I certainly would not be offended. Thank you for being and obedient servant. God bless you.
NettynDayton August 2, 2011 at 5:17 pm
Nothing wrong with sharing your heart Ruth. What you wrote was beautiful.
Danette August 2, 2011 at 5:21 pm
Ruth,
My 10 year old son and I have loved the YouTube’s about shopping with your kids. He asks me, “how’s Trouble doing?” sometimes. I am encouraged by your courage to share not only your children, your family, but now to step out and share your faith – what courage. Thank you (all the way from PA) for your humor, ideas, and inspiration. Keep the Holy Spirit comin!
Melissa August 2, 2011 at 5:22 pm
Ok,wiping away some tears, just had to thank you Ruth for sharing! Becuase He loves us He wants a relationship with us. And so He doesn’t give up on us. So thankful for that!
Sally August 2, 2011 at 5:37 pm
Thanks for posting how you feel, it is beautifully written and is very inspiring. I too enjoy Pastor Mike’s sermons and have felt like he did everything but speak my name at times when it was so close to home. God works in many ways and his work is never finished!
Aimee August 2, 2011 at 5:39 pm
Thank you for sharing your story, Ruth. By being obedient you have no idea how many people you’ve touched with this post. Thank you for shaking us out of our piles and piles of coupons and giving us a dose of reality. We aren’t taking these coupons to heaven (thank God!).
Again, thank you!
Ashley - Embracing Beauty August 2, 2011 at 6:02 pm
I really appreciate you sharing with us. A genuine salvation experience and that relationship with Him is worth far more than any amount of material possessions. Thank you for the reminder to focus on things that matter for eternity. God Bless!
Ashley
http://EmbracingBeauty.com
P.S. I hope it’s okay to have a faith/frugality blog because that’s what I have!
Avril August 2, 2011 at 6:23 pm
Thank you Ruth for this wonderful post! As I read your post I tried really hard to fight back the tears, but I should couldn’t. You have touch my heart with this post. I have tried so very hard to surrender to GOD and its just not working. Every week I say; ok I am going to church on sunday and it not happening. I first accept GOD into my life when I was 19,(now in my 30′s) I was very dedicated then, and as life went on I stop going church regularly. whenever I visited a church I would always go to the alter because that’s where my heart is, but I go back home and don’t attend for a couple of months ughhhh.(I feel like a hypocrite) Please pray for me that I will surrender all to him. Thank you
Catina August 2, 2011 at 6:29 pm
I needed that:) Thank You So Much
Yvette W. August 2, 2011 at 6:41 pm
Ruth,
Thank you so much for sharing that! I can tell that came from your heart. I, too am a believer of Jesus Christ and He is my Lord and Savior. Three weeks ago, I had a miscarriage. It shook me to my core! I had questioned my faith in God. But I know that God Loves me and He Loves you! All He wants is to accept Him as Lord and Savior! Even though I get depressed (it comes in waves), I know that He will bring me through the Fire! He will you too!
God Bless,
Yvette
cara matthews August 2, 2011 at 7:05 pm
I love that you wrote this. It’s so real… and even though it sucks that you went through that it sounds like it needed to happen in order to get you where you are. Attitude Adjustment–Praise the Lord
Leigh Ann August 2, 2011 at 7:29 pm
Thank you so much. THis was so encouraging…I’m still struggling daily. I’ve just recently started going to church again (because I want my daughter to group up in a home like did). and Honestly I’m struggling to connect with God.
Leigh August 2, 2011 at 8:22 pm
Wow. I haven’t read your blog in a while. And I don’t know why today I decided too. But now I know why. This is exactly what I needed to hear. God and you were double-teaming me. The sentence “Will we live our life to be self-important, or will we live our life to hear the words “well done my good and faithful servant” is exactly what I needed. Thanks Ruth! Awesome!!!
Karen in NC August 2, 2011 at 8:33 pm
Ruth, I too was driven away from organized religion thanks to an over-zealous Christian school experience. I’m glad you’ve found a place to make your faith an important place in your life. I also found my way back in a way that speaks meaningfully in my own life, and I’m glad you shared what you did.
Connie August 3, 2011 at 12:00 am
Today’s post is just one more thing about you that I love. Thanks so much.
Heather August 3, 2011 at 12:04 am
Thank you for sharing Ruth, you are truly a wonderful person! I enjoyed reading your post as always, they are always insightful!
Alaina August 3, 2011 at 2:30 am
Hi Ruth, Thank you so much for sharing your heart. You are a good and faithful servant. Your not only beautiful on the outside your even more beautiful on the inside. God knows your heart continue being humble and do all things to glorify HIM! Blessing to you and your family.
Wende' August 3, 2011 at 2:44 am
Thank you for sharing! To God be the Glory for his grace & mercy. Everyday our faith [humility] is tested but building ourselves in the word of God and people of God gives us strength to speak peace, clarity, and understanding into our lives. I am PROUD to say I am a couponer and a Christian but I refuse to let worldly possessions distract me from my purpose in life<3
Alley August 3, 2011 at 3:14 am
If nothing else, the phrase “God-Ho!” made me out loud chortle. For serious. I consider myself “diet christian” as to be frank, church really isn’t my thing. But I hold the core beliefs firm. And I dug this post, keep on being awesome Ruth
Sorelys August 3, 2011 at 3:20 am
This is the first time I leave a comment on a blog, I follow a few couponing ones, and the reason I am writing is to tell you what an exceptional writer you are, English is not my first language but the way you phrase an use words make reading your blogs an truly enjoyable experience, I know this doesn’t seem to relate to WHAT you wrote about, but if HE calls you maybe you should consider answering in Writing cause you DO have the Gift of prose.
Jackie August 3, 2011 at 3:32 am
can’t stop weeping…love you Ruth. Big huge gigantic hugs
peter August 3, 2011 at 4:48 am
Hi Ruth lol.
Your brother and your dad just read your blog.
That almost made dad cry and he insisted that I would read your message for those who care.
Well we do.
I saw you on the news and I thaught that was kewl. Well many blessings from all of us.
God whants us but we somethimes think its just a game.
God bless your family
Cindy August 3, 2011 at 5:58 am
Hi Ruth,
It’s nice to see this post. God never gives up on us. Rather imperfect people give up on him.
Soon there will be a time when no one has depression or any other illnesses.
We await for the day!
Revelation 21:4 And I saw a new heaven and a new earth for the former heaven and the former earth had passed away. Rev. 21:3 …Look! the tent of God is with mankind and he will reside with them, and they will be his peoples, And God himself will be with them. 21:4 And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.
Natalie August 3, 2011 at 8:37 am
Ruth,
I understand completely what is like to battle the evil they call depression. My great grandma had it, my grandma has it, my mom has it, I have it, and unfortunately my daughter will probably have it too. Through medication and therapy though we have all lived healthy and happy lives for the most part but I definetely know that feeling when you begin to sink. While yes this a site about saving money on the necessary things we have to have in order to have extra money for the things we want (or even just to help pay for more necessary things!) I think its important to be reminded that those nice things arent always what really matters. I haven’t been couponing long but for the short amount of time I have been it has benefitted not only me but others as well. I have already helped my mother and grandmother to save money on items and I’m planning on putting my freebies to good use by mailing care packages to soldiers overseas. To me the rush of a good deal is great but the feeling of helping my family or even someone I’ve never met before is FANTASTIC!!! You help tons of ppl to become more saving savvy and to be able to support themselves and their families just a little bit easier. Thats knowledge that will never leave them and that can use over and over again and even pass on to others….creating and infinite web of helping! It may not seem like much but to a lot of ppl every little bit helps and can make a huge difference.
Susan August 3, 2011 at 1:28 pm
I was brought up Baptist.. failed pretty much every day for years.. ended up diagnosed w/anxiety and depression.. almost lost my own life (guess who I called out for? lol) and even though I was finally off the meds and trying to *improve* things… my whole life changed (moved to a new state by way of another)
who got my attention. He’s on the internet.. facebook.. you tube etc.
Then the trouble really started! I was under full blown demonic attack and I stood firm on my beliefs (unlike you I never really blamed God or had a problem like questioning things.. I either blamed *me*.. or the world.. or other people)
While this was going on I tuned into Joseph Prince on TV (by accident? I don’t think so!
I don’t think your intentions are under question. You’re a child of the most high God, Ruth and he wants to bless you w/nice things so you can bless others
Tasha August 3, 2011 at 3:19 pm
Ruth,
That was right on time. I have been couponing for about 5 months and it is because of your videos and blogs that I have been so successful. Your strategies have allowed me save a little money and to even afford to send both of my kids to camp this summer. I have even stepped out on faith and started selling cute bags and totes through a company called thirty-one. It’s a faith based company based around the 31st Proverb about the virtuous woman…which indeed you are. Your effort and time that you put into this blog and videos touches so many people. It sounds corny to say that “couponing is your testimony” or what you were called to do, but it has indeed been a HUGE Blessing to my family and so many others! I am glad that you posted this. Sometimes God has to sit us down and direct us to step out on faith and do what he wants us to do. Me falling into thirty-one has inspired me to start back attending church on a regular basis and really get back in touch. I thank you for all of the Blessings that you have given me…(whether you know it or not!)
Natasha
P.S. If you are in to cute girly totes and bags, visit my website….
http://www.mythirtyone.com/nrachell
Princess and Trouble would look cute with one of our embroidered purses!
Maryellen August 3, 2011 at 5:53 pm
Ruth, Thank you for being our servant. Thank you for sharing your talent and allowing me to be that Proverbs 31 wife (to be thrifty with money). Even though we don’t know eachother personally, you are truly a blessing in my life. STAY REAL, blessings always.
Cassandra August 3, 2011 at 6:38 pm
So much positive feedback! It’s so awesome and it restores my faith in humanity! There are so many people who could easily write a hateful message to try to bring you down, but look at all these wonderful words of praise and thanks and inspiration! The internet can be one of two extremes; hateful or loving. Your sites are most definitely loving! Ruth, while this post is a WONDERFUL breath of fresh air, I think I have to say I enjoyed reading the comments more! So much good energy, how can you log off your computer not smiling everyday?! You are truly loved by your followers for being the most IMPERFECT YOU! Thank you, and thank you to your team, for the work you all put in to helping people from across the board!
Shane August 3, 2011 at 7:01 pm
Ruth, having known your journey I am almost speechless and joyful to hear such testimony from you. My dad once said to me ” the ultimate form of humility is when one forgets themself”. It seems you are swiftly moving in that direction as you refer to a previous stage in life that was mostly seeking for self yet you slowly allowed yourself to give up on these pursuits and let God have you. He has transformed you into slowly and surely seeing life is about the “humble service” he calls us all to. Your blog today is an inspiration to me. You are a remarkable person and with such a revelation in your life combined with your immense talents the plan God has for you will prosper all those you serve. Stay humble! God bless!
Nikki August 3, 2011 at 7:55 pm
I just started reading your blog last weekend and I am so glad that you posted this today because it certainly touched me. Thanks for sharing because everything you do comes from your heart. You are helping others in more ways than you think. God bless you and your family.
Melanie August 4, 2011 at 1:15 am
Thanks so much for these words of encouragement! I’m so happy for you! God doesn’t give up on any of us, even when we give up on ourselves! Awesome testimony!
josie August 4, 2011 at 3:10 am
Hi Ruth, I am so glad you kept going to church. God loves all of us and never gives up on us. He gave his life for us. Like you have said God is Love. And we just can’t live without love, without God in ourlives. He is the way, the truth, the life.
Kat August 4, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Ruth – what a wonderful testimony. Mine not too far from yours. Isn’t it great that He is in control of our lives, even when we turn our back to Him?
Thanks for sharing. I enjoy your site, videos and now…..your God talk.
Blessings,
Kat
Katy August 4, 2011 at 4:26 pm
That. Was. Awesome. Thank you!
Debi August 5, 2011 at 12:13 am
This has to be the best blog post I have read from you. Thanks for being so transparent and sharing your heart. I love what God is doing and I am so thankful that He never gives up on us even when we try to get as far away as possible. Thankfully, we are saved just by grace nothing we do or don’t do ever merits us salvation. I am thankful for you and will keep you lifted in prayer. I’m so excited for you!
Tanya August 5, 2011 at 6:56 pm
Thanks for being honest. Sometimes I think Christians feel like they have to “have it all together,” especially at church. In reality, we’re all on a journey. We are saved by grace and then stuff happens that rocks all of us to the core. Meanwhile, when He’s our Savior, we know that we’re safely in the palm of His hand. I’m learning a lot from you and I know that He who began a good work in you will finish it!
Vicki August 6, 2011 at 9:50 pm
Ruth,
What a wonderful blog!!! I am a newbe to couponing and your You Tubevideos inspired me to start. Then I went to your Websight and studied all of your lessons for beginners. Today I saved
50% on my groceries!!!! But the other day I was having my quiet time and it just hit me….
God is our manufacturer and he gives the most awesome coupons of all time. Here is the
verses I was studying that am.
Proverbs 3:1 &2
My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments;
for length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee.
WOW: Length of days (who couldn’t use more hrs. in a day)
Long life
Peace
That is one High Value coupon!!!
There are tons of high value mf coupons in Proverbs
God bless you and your family,
Vicki
Toni Estadt August 8, 2011 at 12:05 pm
Hey Ruth,
This is my first time on your blog. I saw some of your videos on Youtube and decided to check out your site too. I am also a Christian mom with a new found faith thanks to a wonderful church pastor(s). I was immediatly draw to this post. God is great isn’t He? Keep up the good work!
Carola August 10, 2011 at 1:11 am
so maybe by posting this great blog you have come full circle and are right where God intended for you to be all along…..
Rachel August 30, 2011 at 5:54 pm
Ruth – I am just reading this post! Thanks so much for sharing. I cried! I am so glad that God has placed Soukup’s in our life. I am delighted to be serving our Lord together!
Ruth September 1, 2011 at 9:28 pm
Me too.